DOES GOD KEEP THE SNOT??

DOES GOD KEEP THE SNOT?!?

Let's get real here. When it comes to crying, not all tears are equal. In my mind (may I remind you that I live in princess fantasy land), when I cry, I look an awful  lot like Demi Moore did in the movie, Ghost. If you have not seen the movie Ghost (have you been hiding under a rock?!? Or you could just be under 40) there is a scene depicting Demi being badgered by a lady trying to convince her that the love of her life has not "moved on" from this world yet after being murdered and that he is trying contact her so he can warn her of the danger she doesn't know she is in. She is angry at first that someone is trying to mess with the pain of losing her mate, but the scene ends in joy after realizing he is trying to communicate with her. Yes, I know this is way off Biblically, but work with me here. The scene is almost magical. The camera does a close up of her and you can see her flushed face take on an expression of awe, her mouth opening as if she can't believe what she is experiencing. Her eyes fill with unshed tears and we wait with baited breath for what is about to happen. Then slowly, dramatically, with the hauntingly sorrowful notes of Unchained Melody  playing softly in the background, her big, fat, beautiful tears fall slowly from her slightly reddened eyes. The lighting is perfect, making the tears glisten on her face. The moment is almost envious in it's beauty. Have you got the picture? Um, yeah. That's SO not me.
There is crying, and then there is sobbing. Crying, on the right person can be pretty. But nobody ever looked attractive after sobbing. Which leads me to this question for God. In the Bible, it says in Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears and put them in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book." This is a beautiful promise and one that when I am in my right mind and not in an angry, spiraling-out-of-control space in my life, can look on with appreciation and even fondness. But there are other times when I want to smash that bottle and get to the bucket, cuz only a bucket would hold all the snot that comes with those tears. Oh, I know this is not polite to speak of gross things like snot (yes, I hear you mom), but let's be honest, when the mucus is in full force, we are getting to core of things. Instead of slightly red eyes, they look like Lucifer himself. The swelling is so great, it's threatening to stay shut. There is no flushing of the face, but great blotchy patches that look like we may have a rosacea problem. We can't close our mouths, or we would suffocate, so there may be some drool sneaking out of the corner of our mouths. Our lips ARE actually red, but wrinkled from being chapped because WE CAN'T CLOSE OUR MOUTHS!! And the snot. Glorious snot that leaks in thick waves from our nose. The kind that takes four tissues per blow. (*Side-note* My mom previewed this post and said, "It's good, but there's so much talk about snot". Lol, mom, yes! Life is messy!) Our head aches, our body sore, our mind having exploded to get us to this point, gratefully goes numb after we wind down. When we finally wake up from our sobbing stupor, it's often to mounds of tissues, soaked pillows and possible someone trying to slink away from the atomic bomb we just dropped.
Does God keep the snot? I think it's a great question because to me, when the snot is involved, I'm being completely honest. I'm not trying to hide or pretend everything is right. I am letting go and really allowing myself to feel what is in the depth of my heart. What's in there? Pain, obviously. Anger. Self-pity. Frustration. Fear. Despair. But Lori! You're a Christian! You were a pastor's wife!! You preach about hope and God's faithfulness! Yes, yes and YES. You think God can't handle my snot? You think God can't handle yours? How about your pain, your anger, your fear? Look, I think God loves the snot. I think He looks forward to it. Because when we are at our lowest is when He does His greatest work. When we are finally able to finally scream at Him (yes scream) what is REALLY going on in our innermost thoughts, that's when He digs in to do His biggest work. Pretending, masking or deluding ourselves isn't going to help heal us. It's what keeps us sick.
Did you know that mucus has a very important purpose? It's not just there to gross us out. Our body produces it because it has antibodies in it that help protect us from bacteria and viruses that could make us sick. While we may think it's gross, it has an important purpose. So does letting out our pain and being real with God. Obviously, God already knows what's going on with us. It's only when we are honest with ourselves that we can let Him in to His divine work of making us well. But only if we allow Him. Just like a doctor asks for consent to treat you, God won't force you. But His desire is to make you well. He wants to fill you with joy, give you confidence and strength. He wants to give you hope. He tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient for us, that His power is made perfect in weakness. What a promise that is! Because a lot of times, I feel weak and exhausted. Because I am in the Word of God I know that if I let go of trying to control life on my own (haha, like I can control anything) and give my problems to Him, that's when He gives me the strength I need to make it another day, tackle another issue, feel hope for the future.  There is so much wisdom and hope for us found in scripture. All we have to do is be obediently looking.
So, does this mean I can just pretty cry from here on out? Goodness, I hope so! Sadly no. I'm sure God's got another bucket waiting for me when life hits again. But He's waiting. For me. With love and hope. He's waiting for you. He's waiting to show YOU just how faithful He is. Give it a try! OH! And send me your snotty pics! I could use a good laugh:)