WHAT BIRTHDAY'S MEAN TO ME
WHAT BIRTHDAYS MEAN TO ME
I have always enjoyed my birthday. Maybe it's because I was the baby of the family and therefore spoiled, or it could be my party personality:) It was my birthday last week and this year, instead of just the celebration (which my family and friends did fabulously), I took sometime to contemplate where I have been and where I am going.
I wouldn't say that I've had a mid-life crisis, I would say a crisis found me mid-life. It certainly wasn't something I would have chosen for myself, my husband or my children. But it is the crisis that took over my life and I find myself wanting my life back from it. That's not to say I would want the last decade back for a do-over, as I would never want to live those years again. Nor is it that I wish I could changed anything, because I do trust our sovereign God. Rather, maybe I would like an extension on the younger areas of my life that I feel have been shriveled by the crisis that entered my life.
Thank you to those of you who participated in my Instagram question. If you didn't see it, I asked if people contemplate their lives on birthdays or just enjoyed the celebrations. Interestingly, men responded different than women and age responded differently than youth. I guess that's pretty obvious, but it was great to hear what people thought about birthdays. This year had me contemplating more than most. I feel like I am in the in-between stages of life; not deep in depression or grief like I was, but not functioning with complete purpose either. The past feels like a fairytale and a plague all at the same time and the future is full of uncertainty, but hope. But, I can state this unequivocally...I do not want to remain in the in-between!
So as I contemplate my life and things that I want to learn from, but also those things I want to change, it reminds me of Psalms 23 where David is talking to the Lord about his life and the many experiences he's lived through. He had so many ups and downs in his relationship with God and I feel the same way. Sometimes soaring in the heavens with Him and sometimes feeling the fires on my feet. There have been naps in green pastures and strolls along the still water, but I have also walked in the dark shadow of death. I can confidently say that God has walked with me through the good and the bad. He is the restorer of my soul and my shelter in the storms of life.
One thing I know I deal constantly with is fear and worry. So this next year of life, I am going to work on focusing on the second part of verse 4. I've already lived the first part of this verse which has to deal with death, but the second part of the verse says, "I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Next week I am writing about Jesus being the good shepherd and I will explore what it means to be comforted by the rod and the staff. For now, I'd like to focus on the fact that God has been WITH me. That thought alone is incredible! The God of the universe has been with me through every joy experienced and every sorrow rendered. This is where I am focusing my energy this next year. Because He has been with me through it all, I have no need to fear. This doesn't mean I get to just sit back and relax (which is my favorite thing to do!) but rather, I need to push myself to focus on the future and grow in my relationship with Him, knowing that when I am walking in obedience to Him, I have nothing to fear. He is with me and promises me that He will provide. I have tested Him in this area over and over again and He has NEVER let me down!
How (tangibly) am I going to do this you ask? I have 4 things I have decided to focus on:
1. Bible reading
2. Prayer
3. Healthy habits
4. Fun Breaks
We all know that reading your Bible and praying are essential for the Christian life, but it's so easily forgotten or overlooked. So to avoid this, I make a habit of putting it in my schedule so that it becomes my routine. Healthier eating and working out always improves my mind set. Even if I take a small walk, it helps me to get alone with thoughts and just breathe. And fun breaks are so important! I love making specific times with my kids to laugh and watch movies together. And I have a close set of friends who do life with me and allow me to be myself and more importantly, laugh with and at me. Laughter is so good for the soul:)
I recently heard a young preacher say that sometimes, it's the very vision that God puts in your heart that leads you to the hardships in life. But those hardships are just the process where God works to get you where He needs you to go. Greg use to say that it's in the struggle that God shapes your character so that you can take your pain and make it your purpose. And that's my goal in life, not just this year. To take my beautifully broken life and allow God to shape me into His masterpiece.
I have always enjoyed my birthday. Maybe it's because I was the baby of the family and therefore spoiled, or it could be my party personality:) It was my birthday last week and this year, instead of just the celebration (which my family and friends did fabulously), I took sometime to contemplate where I have been and where I am going.
I wouldn't say that I've had a mid-life crisis, I would say a crisis found me mid-life. It certainly wasn't something I would have chosen for myself, my husband or my children. But it is the crisis that took over my life and I find myself wanting my life back from it. That's not to say I would want the last decade back for a do-over, as I would never want to live those years again. Nor is it that I wish I could changed anything, because I do trust our sovereign God. Rather, maybe I would like an extension on the younger areas of my life that I feel have been shriveled by the crisis that entered my life.
Thank you to those of you who participated in my Instagram question. If you didn't see it, I asked if people contemplate their lives on birthdays or just enjoyed the celebrations. Interestingly, men responded different than women and age responded differently than youth. I guess that's pretty obvious, but it was great to hear what people thought about birthdays. This year had me contemplating more than most. I feel like I am in the in-between stages of life; not deep in depression or grief like I was, but not functioning with complete purpose either. The past feels like a fairytale and a plague all at the same time and the future is full of uncertainty, but hope. But, I can state this unequivocally...I do not want to remain in the in-between!
So as I contemplate my life and things that I want to learn from, but also those things I want to change, it reminds me of Psalms 23 where David is talking to the Lord about his life and the many experiences he's lived through. He had so many ups and downs in his relationship with God and I feel the same way. Sometimes soaring in the heavens with Him and sometimes feeling the fires on my feet. There have been naps in green pastures and strolls along the still water, but I have also walked in the dark shadow of death. I can confidently say that God has walked with me through the good and the bad. He is the restorer of my soul and my shelter in the storms of life.
One thing I know I deal constantly with is fear and worry. So this next year of life, I am going to work on focusing on the second part of verse 4. I've already lived the first part of this verse which has to deal with death, but the second part of the verse says, "I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Next week I am writing about Jesus being the good shepherd and I will explore what it means to be comforted by the rod and the staff. For now, I'd like to focus on the fact that God has been WITH me. That thought alone is incredible! The God of the universe has been with me through every joy experienced and every sorrow rendered. This is where I am focusing my energy this next year. Because He has been with me through it all, I have no need to fear. This doesn't mean I get to just sit back and relax (which is my favorite thing to do!) but rather, I need to push myself to focus on the future and grow in my relationship with Him, knowing that when I am walking in obedience to Him, I have nothing to fear. He is with me and promises me that He will provide. I have tested Him in this area over and over again and He has NEVER let me down!
How (tangibly) am I going to do this you ask? I have 4 things I have decided to focus on:
1. Bible reading
2. Prayer
3. Healthy habits
4. Fun Breaks
We all know that reading your Bible and praying are essential for the Christian life, but it's so easily forgotten or overlooked. So to avoid this, I make a habit of putting it in my schedule so that it becomes my routine. Healthier eating and working out always improves my mind set. Even if I take a small walk, it helps me to get alone with thoughts and just breathe. And fun breaks are so important! I love making specific times with my kids to laugh and watch movies together. And I have a close set of friends who do life with me and allow me to be myself and more importantly, laugh with and at me. Laughter is so good for the soul:)
I recently heard a young preacher say that sometimes, it's the very vision that God puts in your heart that leads you to the hardships in life. But those hardships are just the process where God works to get you where He needs you to go. Greg use to say that it's in the struggle that God shapes your character so that you can take your pain and make it your purpose. And that's my goal in life, not just this year. To take my beautifully broken life and allow God to shape me into His masterpiece.
I love that you are sharing this process. #KeepOnRocking In Hawaii we say #Imua (ee-mooo-ahh) move forward. Yes God is WITH you ������
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement Leilani and the the beautiful Hawaiian saying! Love it:)
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