WHISPER IN THE WIND

WHISPER IN THE WIND

Have you ever felt lost and alone? Like there was no one else in the world who could understand quite what you are going through? Well my friends, you are not alone. I often feel like I am in way over my head in this thing called life, even just this week!
I know I talk a lot about my problem with fear. It likes to creep in every chance it gets. And just when I think God and I have it all under control, something pops up in my life to challenge my thinking. Ugh. It's so frustrating.
Why can't it always be the highs in life that we experience instead of the highs and lows?  I had such a blessed life with a wonderful husband, great kids and a ministry/job that was very fulfilling. I loved my life. It wasn't always easy or without it's difficulties, but it was full and meaningful. Then Greg got sick, but even in that, there was a purposeful task for me to do; keep Greg alive and well. After he died, there was an emptiness and purposelessness that crept into my life. I was still a mom and my kids need me, though, not like Greg did in needing full time care. So I was left alone with my thoughts and insecurities. I am now almost four years into life without Greg and doing much better, but I've got to tell you, I still haven't found my place yet. It can be very disheartening to feel like I should be further along in my process; to have a new career and passion to pour into. I wish God would come down and point the way. Even better, I'd love a big Vegas style sign that says, "This is what you should do next. Don't procrastinate! Do it now" (I need the extra encouragement). But you know, even if God did show up in that way, (first of all- I would freak out, but after that) I may still not be ready for what He has ahead of me. Isn't it so hard to have patience to wait for God's timing?
When I think of Bible personalities that struggle with high's and low's in their lives, as something to get some reference on the best way to succeed in my own life, I think of Elijah. What a powerful man of God! I think I like him so much because of his sarcastic humor. Anyone who can taunt an enemy about their god being busy on the toilet is my kind of person. 😂I also love the faith and boldness that Elijah had for God. He boldly told the king there would be a draught, prayed for God to rain down fire from heaven and then killed all the evil corrupt people. But this bold and strong man was brought down by a woman with a temper. He went from the mountain top to the valley in a very short period of time. The kings wife, Jezebel, had a hatred for Elijah and she promised to kill him for all he had done. I'd like to mention here that he had done what God had told him to do and he did it in the strength of God. If it hadn't been for God's intervention, none of it would have happened. Elijah forgot God's part in providing huge miracles and focused on a mere woman who threatened his life. I am so in the same boat as Elijah! I love when God does big God things in my life, but when there's a hiccup, I'm so quick to take my eyes off of how big He is and focus on my temporary problem. I say temporary not to belittle the problems - it doesn't get much worse than death. I say that because this life is just a grain of sand compared to eternity that waits for me.
Elijah did what many of us do when hard times come - he ran away. Now I don't run away as in leaving my location (though I must confess that there are times when I am driving west on the I-10 that I know if I keep going, I will make it to the beach and doesn't the beach always sound like a good idea?) However, I do run away from the problem in my mind by doing inconsequential things that keep me busy or put off doing the bills because money is tight or keep a storage unit full of handicap items way longer than necessary because I don't want to deal with it. Oh why can't life be simple? I think back to days where it seems like I had it all together and was slaying this dragon called life! Now I seem to back away from the easiest tasks in life. And I'm sorry to say it, but there tends to be a "poor me" attitude that I adopt, a victimization that is so easy to put on. Can I just say that I think we have too many people who think it's a good idea to be a victim more than a conqueror?  It's almost trendy now a days to put yourself in a group that is "less than" others or have it "harder than" others. When I start feeling sorry for myself and my life circumstances, I try and remind myself that God has orchestrated things in my life so that it would turn out this way. I haven't always handled them the best, but I know that I was meant to be here. For my birthday this year, a friend got me a framed picture that says, "You are right where you are meant to be." I love it. I keep it next to my bed because that is usually the place where I need it. My kids talk to me there about life successes and problems. I can feel so overwhelmed trying to single parent it, but I remember that God knew what I was going to walk through and He still decided it was a good idea for me to raise kids alone. It's where I wake up in the middle of the night, not being able to sleep for the anxieties that run through my mind, but I am reminded that God has me right where I need to be because He is the one that will provide and direct. And while that big neon sign might be nice, it's the quiet reminder of that saying that has me stabilized. I am right where I am meant to be, but I also know and have experienced that God is faithful, through the highs and the lows of life.
I love how God showed Elijah that he was faithful. 1 Kings 19:11-12 "And He said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper." I love this about God. He is all powerful and can prove it, but He chooses to speak in a whisper. What happens when someone whispers? We have to lean in close, really concentrate to hear above the noise around us and seek the information that is being shared quietly to us. In my life, God has whispered, and when He does, it's so powerful. Oh, there has been wind and earthquakes and fire, but the teaching, the guiding and direction comes when I quiet down, lean in and seek what He has to say to me. I stop feeling like a victim and remember that God has made me MORE THAN a conqueror with His faithful guidance in my life. And just when I feel alone and lost, He reminds me of the many in my same situation. But more importantly, that with Him in my life, I am never alone or lost. He has a purpose and direction for me. How I get there is one step at a time.
If you are feeling lost, alone or victimized by your life circumstances, let me encourage you to lean in and seek what God is trying to whisper to you.  He is good and faithful! Ask God to show you the next steps in life and to remind you that you are more than a conqueror in in the midst of your beautifully broken life.