BEING THE PERFECT PARENT

BEING THE PERFECT PARENT

I am, of course, joking with the title of my blog. Even when Greg was here to help me parent, we were anything but perfect and clearly, on my own, I need a lot of help. Parenting in general is so difficult, and single parenting... whole 'nother level!😅
I feel as I am in the thick of it as pertains to parenting. I have some adult children and some teenage children. The funny thing is, I always thought when they were little that it was the hardest time parenting. Hands down, parenting early adult children is the hardest! Finding that balance of guiding while still allowing them to make mistakes is hard. The consequences for some of the mistakes they want to make can be steep.
Because this is an area I have been struggling with, I wanted to remind myself what God does when He parents us. Of course, He IS the perfect parent! In studying this, I was reminded of so many amazing principles. Ephesians 1:4, "...even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will..." Not only did God choose us, He made it official by adopting us! And not only did He adopt us, it says that through His sovereign nature, He did it before the beginning of time! How loved and wanted are we? God chose us before time and made us His children with all the inheritance that comes with being a child of God. Amazing! Here is something to think about too; when people adopt children, they can give them everything they would give a child naturally born to them, but they can't give them their DNA. No matter how much they love them and nurture them, they will always be biologically different. That's not true with us and God. He gives us the divine characteristics of His nature and makes us more like His Son as we walk with Him! That is incredible how much God loves us!
Now that we know how much God loves us, let's take a look at how He treats us as a parent. Ephesians 1:7, "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ..." God redeems us through His blood. Isn't redemption a beautiful thing? Because of our sinfulness, it can sometimes feel as if we are beyond redemption, but with God, we can never be too far or too messy. God always see the potential in His children and is ready to work on issues with us when we come to Him. How much hope and peace does that give us to know we are never going to be turned away by God?
God is also the forever forgiving parent. Sometimes I struggle with this. My kids can push the exact buttons to make me want to be angry and to even hold on to that anger. Why can't they just listen, obey, act, be, do, etc?!? I have been guilty of holding on to anger against my children but when I turn it around and think of my parents or certainly, God, holding forgiveness back from me, it's not a pleasant thought. The fact that I sin against God so much, but I can ask and receive His forgiveness anytime is humbling.  Thank God for His forgiveness to my endless amount of mistakes!
God the Father is also a teacher, trying to give us understanding, insight and wisdom to know His will. This is hard because sometimes we don't see where He is leading us. We have to trust Him to take us where He wants us to go. But He doesn't want us to be lost. He is always providing instruction and wisdom (when we ask) to lead us into blessing when we obey.
So now that we know how God parents us, how can we practically use it in our own parenting? Let's remember that no one is beyond redemption. I have seen some parents who have children walking outside God's boundaries that cut off all communication with their children. God is not pushy nor does He accept sinful behavior, but He is always wanting a relationship with us. Remember, the prodigal son ran away and while his father did not chase him, he was always looking for him to return and when the son did, he RAN to him. My children do not always make the life decisions I want for them, but they know that I will love them unconditionally, no matter what they choose to do in life. Of course, I want them to choose God and His will for their lives because I know that is how they will live in freedom and blessing, but even if they don't, they will have a mom who loves them. This is so important for our children to know and feel secure in our relationships with them.
Everyone deserves forgiveness. And I also think everyone deserves forgiveness when they ask for it. I have seen people ask for forgiveness and someone say they need time to think about it before they forgive; even their children. I am not saying that the hurt will go away immediately or the consequences, but when our children ask us to forgive, we need to give it willingly and right away.
Finally, we need to teach our children how they should behave, instruct them in the things of God...and then we need to live it. Greg always said that kids have a high BS meter. They know when you are living a lie. How many times do we tell our kids to do one thing while living another? I know I am guilty of this. I so want my children to choose God and His ways but am I really showing them in my own life that this is how I am living? God, help me live truth in front of my kids that they may see it first hand in my life and want it for their own!
My church had baby dedication this week, where people pledge to God and the church to raise their children in God's way. Scripturally, we get this from the story of Samuel where his parents prayed for God to bless them with a child and then pledged him back to the service of God. It reminded me of how Greg and I pledged each of our children to God. They are not mine, they are His; I gave them to Him. And while I love them so much, He loves them more. It is my job to love them like God loves me, to pray for them that they will choose to live for Christ and to model for them how living for God brings blessings, peace and hope. My prayer is that we would be encouraged by how much God loves us as His children and that we would be challenged to live authentically in front of our children to lead them to choose God with their beautifully broken lives.